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Teaching Tips February 2011 |
Chances are you’ve heard the challenge from some homeschooling skeptic: “What about socialization?” On the positive side, this question at least
acknowledges that God created us as social beings
who are wired for relationship.
On the negative side, the question assumes that relating to peers who are equally immature is the only way to socialize a child. There is something these people miss that psychologists recognize: spending meaningful time with people who care about us is indispensable to human flourishing. Social researcher Robert Putnam summarizes that the single most common finding from a half-century’s research on life satisfaction is that happiness is best predicted by the depth of a people’s connections with those closest to them. The key to “getting” the socialization issue is that connectedness is not the same thing as knowing many people. You can be acquainted with many people, yet have only a few friends, and probably one or two close friends. In Ephesians 3:17, Paul gives us a picture of the kind of connectedness God had in mind when He said, “It is not good that man be alone” (Gen. 2:18). We are to be “rooted and grounded in love.” That is one of the values of home discipleship. Our children have the time and space to be rooted and grounded in the love of the family as a prelude to being part of the family of God and ultimately the community at large. Already sociologists are lamenting the consequences of the superficial connections of the Internet’s social networks and researchers are measuring the negative ramifications to society. On the flip side, British scientist Donald Winnicott found that children who play in close proximity to their mother are more creative than children playing at a distance from her. Winnicott’s studies revealed that children are naturally inventive, curious, and more likely to take risks in what he called the “circle of connectedness.” When the children are within this circle, they take more risks. They show more alertness. If they fall down, they are more likely to get back up. And they laugh more. Winnicott considered this amazing, considering that the mother was not directly involved in what the child was doing. The mother was not solving any of the problems the child encountered; she was just nearby. Instead, the child felt empowered because of the environment of love and care evidenced by the mother’s nearness. One author put it this way: “When you are loved, it is not just that you receive more from someone else, but also that you become more yourself. You-ier.” Incidentally, the research also noted that as children grow older and more capable of abstract thought, additional circles of connectedness are added as they begin to test their unique self-identity. Yet they still need the reassurance of that first, central circle of connectedness of unconditional family love. Come to think of it, that’s a pretty good working definition of home discipleship: a circle of connectedness. 492 Words To view more 'Teaching Tips' Articles please 'Log In' and visit the 'Achives' page. |
